If we are ever to bridge the racial divide, we must learn to talk - and, equally important, to listen. When we come together to share our life experiences, our thoughts and feelings, our differences and similarities, significant change is possible.
Establish the Right Context and Allow Time to Build Trust...
The context is critical - ground rules are needed in order for conversations to promote healing, rather than exacerbate old wounds. Given the history of interactions between Blacks and Whites, it is not surprising that the process of coming together to talk about racial issues often feels like moving through a veritable minefield. Excitement about embarking on a new journey is tempered by fear of anticipated dangers.White people are often afraid of saying something that might be experienced by Blacks as racist. Black people are often hesitant to trust the sincerity, motivation, and commitment of Whites. We all come to this process with a backlog of life experiences and social conditioning that cannot help but influence our expectations.
It takes time for the establishment of trust; it takes time to put aside our fears and truly believe that this experience could be different.
Move from Abstract to Personal...
Effective dialogue emerges from personal interaction - generalized discussions about abstract principles are not enough. We need to risk being known and to invest in knowing others. In-depth communication demands that we let down our guard and take some chances. We have to accept the likelihood that at times we'll feel exposed, embarrassed, uncertain, vulnerable. We may feel angry, fearful, sad, or disappointed. We may feel guilty. Experiencing these emotions is difficult; our natural inclination is to avoid feeling uncomfortable, to avoid feeling distressed. We don't want to be seen as a "weak" or "bad" person. Under these circumstances, it's all too easy to assume an avoidant posture, keeping the conversation on a superficial or intellectualized level. If, however, we are willing to take some emotional risks, in spite of the discomfort, powerful exchanges can take place. We can learn, by talking and by listening, some important truths about ourselves and others.It Does Work: Article Continues with Real Life Examples...